IDEAS

Bone gave us some great words again today:

Rumor

Shake

Spontaneous

I really feel like I am in a hole today grasping at any way to climb out, which has nothing to do with my story, I have just been busy. So, I am writing this while taking a break. Since I haven't talked to any one of my friends, I couldn't tell you any good rumors, mostly my friends talk about me, which is not at all vain, but due to the fact that I march to the beat of my own drum.

I'm sure each of you know that one person that provides endless entertainment... In my case that is me.

I will tell you a little story of how listening to a woman (I won't name any names) can remove the hair from your rear.

Each year because of my husband's profession, we take motorcycle trips two to four times a year. If you read my blog you know we just got back from a trip across Tennessee. While I have never ridden a motorcycle except for when me and my brother had a mini bike. That was an adventure. I begged and begged my brother to let me ride it. I pestered him so much he gave in just because he couldn't shake me from constantly asking. We lived on a farm. Our house was the only house on the dirt road, so it was OK for us to play in the road. He could have set me off on the road and let me go up and down it while he watched, but instead he thought the fresh plowed field would be better for me so I wouldn't hit a tree. To me it sounded logical. I was getting to ride that mini bike. He gave me the basic instructions. I can remember everything going great until I started going a little faster.

Remember I was in a plowed field? Each time I rose up with each new row, I would pull the throttle towards me, making the mini bike go faster.

It got out of control and I began to scream realizing that he didn't tell me how to stop. If he did I couldn't remember because I couldn't figure out at the time why the darn thing was going faster and faster. My dad was in the house and heard me yelling with my brother running trying to catch up to me. Somehow I had the mini bike going so fast I caught some air and crashed when the front tire landed first and I let go of the handle bar grips. I went flying through the air and landed in a pile of dust. My brother got in a lot of trouble for that innocent mistake.

That is not the part that will make you loose the hair off your rear, (even though he did get a spanking. Spanking was still legal back then) this happened just a few weeks ago on our trek across Tennessee.

My husband and his friend, T. while riding their off- road motorcycles, were getting rashes from the sweat combining with the seat of the motorcycle and constant motion. Both of them are experienced riders and had all the proper undergarments, but were still taking a beating. That evening during dinner I listened to their trouble and we tried to think of things that might ease the pain. Several things that came to mind were big band aids, duct tape, and some kind of cream. Being the genius that I am, I suggested mole skin, like the things that are used when you have a corn on your toe. Mole skin comes in a decent size patch and would cut down on the friction and possibly provide a little more skin protection. My husband's friend T, took me up on the mole skin idea. Without thinking it through, he bought two, one for each cheek.

The next day he secretly applied them directly to his skin. They rode most of that day, but got caught in a thunderstorm and called it a day. When they were in dry clothes and we were preparing to return home in the truck, he spontaneously announced he had to use the restroom one last time. Ten minutes passed. Twenty minutes passed. I began to wonder if someone should check on him. I asked my husband to check on him, but he said no if the man needed privacy, we would give him privacy, no matter how long it took.

When T. returned to the truck, he looked like he had been crying. He is honest and isn't afraid to expose his feelings. I asked him what's wrong. He held out a small 4" x 6" patch of mole skin with the adhesive side covered with hair! He said, "It took four tries but I finally pulled them off. I heard rumor when girls get their hair waxed off it hurt, but now I think I know what it feels like! I started to pull and it hurt a little the first time. The second time I pulled, it brought tears to my eyes. The third time I couldn't control the tears and was getting discouraged that I would even get them off, I almost left them on. The fourth try I gave it all I had and it was very uncomfortable! This is the result. I know there isn't a hair left on my butt!" He said they did what I had expected, but it was removing them that proved to be the problem. We had a good laugh about that and needless to say it was 100 times funnier to hear him tell it. The lessons learned here, is that not every idea is a good idea, (especially when it is that person which I will not name's idea).